Over the past few months, I have been thinking a lot about love and humanity.The simple laws of attraction and the inevitability of it all coming to an end.
Immortality isn’t something I want to attain. I want to find a way to live forever in the memories of my loved ones. I don’t want to leave a legacy, I want to leave a smile.
I think I’ve always been in a constant state of want. But now I’m shifting toward a new perspective…from now on out, “I deserve….better”
Soundtrack of the day. There is something about Radiohead, something surreal almost about every album. A new experience every single time. It is as if you can feel what the artist is going through. Every precious moment.
When I pictured my life after college I envisioned a number of things.
A high rise career, non profit work, traveling, or dare I say marriage (even with my lack of dating experience).
For the past 16 + years I was always a student, a planner and a wanderer. I had my life figured out—up until my May graduation. Today, I am exactly 6 months post college and not exactly where I imagined.
I moved home, took a full time job as a barista, a $3 pay cut and severely diminished my social life. I studied for a month straight for the GRE and successfully completed it (to the best of my knowledge).
Had somebody told me 3 months ago I would be sitting in Fruita, CO working in retail and actually enjoying it I would have laughed. I would have scoffed at the idea. But lately, as I look at the life around me I am calm and content.
For now, this brief moment in my life I am able to carefully chose the direction I want to go in and weigh every option accordingly. I am humbled everyday and proud of how I have found a way to make my life my own. My job is rewarding, it is sometimes difficult but I get to make people happy everyday.
I am able to appreciate the benefits of hard work and understand that a degree doesn’t guarantee anything, but solid performance and ample work experience is the only thing that gets you in the door.
I appreciate the benefits I receive and the people I meet. I have taken extra steps to broaden my responsibilities and get to know Starbucks as a cooperation. Starbucks, though shunned for its cooperate scale and global influence, is a company I can stand behind. Each store takes steps to improve and develop the surrounding communities while providing dynamic jobs that give partners the chance to grow. The company encourages development and gives every employee—from the growers to the CEO—the chance to create a sustainable lifestyle.
The private company is even taking steps to aid local business and create jobs for Americans. While daunting, this movement is a large step in the right direction when it comes to bridging the ever present gap between the public and private sectors.
When I took this job, I was nervous. But as I look at the world around me at the welfare, and the increasing unemployment rates I am grateful to be employed at all. I am grateful to have a chance to breathe and really looking forward to my next adventure. I recognize that I am still privileged and essentially free of responsibility (no kids, no student loans, no mortgage), but the last few months have really taught me the importance of hard work and sacrifice. I get to witness small moments everyday and hear beautiful stories from my co-workers and customers.
My life is far from what I imagined. Far from the lofty goals I set for myself. But as my best friends once said “when we make plans, God laughs”. For now I am perfectly content and settling into my own calm. A calm I know will come in handy in the future.
Welcome to my world.
(via keepingthatmomentforever)
Is my primary objective.
(via keepingthatmomentforever)
having everything I ever wanted..
to watching it all slip away.
Tragic.
I never knew that a single person could be like a cancer. consumer you. use you.
I never knew.
But now that I know the source of my anxiety. the source of my constant worry.
I can let it go.
rip it from the inside out and never look back.
I am liberated.
